"It's the most wonderful time of year." I've never been exceptionally fond of this song. I think it's because of the line "Hearts will be glowing when loved ones are near." Having my friends and family surround me in good cheer always fills me with a warm and happy feeling. However, as a general rule, those whom I love the most, are often those I like the least. Coming from a family where women are expected to be servants, and repopulate the earth (as if it really needed more people), it is easy to see why I wouldn't want to be around my family very much during the holidays.
For some reason, I'm derelict in my duty of womanhood because I'm not popping out babies yet. In my opinion, it is important for a person of either male or female gender to be prepared for the responsibilities of being a parent. (I have discussed that in a previous blog, so I won't recap here.) Obviously this attitude offends many of the members of my family. So what is a 29 year old woman supposed to do when her family refuses to regard her as an adult until she sports the last name of a man and bears his children? At each holiday gathering, I am the victim of stares and sneers because I arrive with my boyfriend (of 3 years, and no, we aren't getting married) with the proverbial mask in place. I am cheery, and loving and kind. I sing the songs. I smile and laugh. I do all of the things that all of the women do, yet, I still have to sit at the kids table because I don't have any children of my own. Perhaps the motivation behind the seating arrangement is the hope that my biological clock will somehow be wound and mysteriously come to life from contact with the children.
Don't think that I am bitter in the least. Bitterness is certainly not what prompts my outrage at this. I am just tired of being the one outcast because of the decisions I've made in my life. Of course the circulation of rumors that I'm a lesbian and that's why I've never gotten married doesn't help matters. Even if I were, is it not still my family's responsibility to accept me and love me for who I am. I am certainly not doing anything to harm anyone. I have as much love as any of them. More than likely, the love I give is more genuine because I don't put limitations upon it. I give my love to any member of my family without a thought as to that person's lifestyle. Do I not have the right to expect the same?
Perhaps I am just too forward in my thinking. Be that as it may, I don't intend to change, and until I marry and have children (should that ever occur) I will be forever outcast from my family.
For some reason, I'm derelict in my duty of womanhood because I'm not popping out babies yet. In my opinion, it is important for a person of either male or female gender to be prepared for the responsibilities of being a parent. (I have discussed that in a previous blog, so I won't recap here.) Obviously this attitude offends many of the members of my family. So what is a 29 year old woman supposed to do when her family refuses to regard her as an adult until she sports the last name of a man and bears his children? At each holiday gathering, I am the victim of stares and sneers because I arrive with my boyfriend (of 3 years, and no, we aren't getting married) with the proverbial mask in place. I am cheery, and loving and kind. I sing the songs. I smile and laugh. I do all of the things that all of the women do, yet, I still have to sit at the kids table because I don't have any children of my own. Perhaps the motivation behind the seating arrangement is the hope that my biological clock will somehow be wound and mysteriously come to life from contact with the children.
Don't think that I am bitter in the least. Bitterness is certainly not what prompts my outrage at this. I am just tired of being the one outcast because of the decisions I've made in my life. Of course the circulation of rumors that I'm a lesbian and that's why I've never gotten married doesn't help matters. Even if I were, is it not still my family's responsibility to accept me and love me for who I am. I am certainly not doing anything to harm anyone. I have as much love as any of them. More than likely, the love I give is more genuine because I don't put limitations upon it. I give my love to any member of my family without a thought as to that person's lifestyle. Do I not have the right to expect the same?
Perhaps I am just too forward in my thinking. Be that as it may, I don't intend to change, and until I marry and have children (should that ever occur) I will be forever outcast from my family.
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