At 16 years old, life sucks. Everyone hates you and nothing ever goes the way you want it too. Every day is a battle. People stare and laugh at you. No one seems to understand. It seems that no one cares and no one ever will. Life just sucks.
Life wanders by day by day, each day seeming longer than the last, but shorter at the same time. When there is something you want to do, it seems that you never get to do it. Over and over, you are denied small, and simple pleasures. The things you most want to do, you are not allowed to do. The things that make you most miserable are the things you are required to do.
Watching this in the lives of my students I'm pulled back to a time when I felt that way. I often wonder how many teachers really think about how it was when they were 16. I hear them say, "These are the best years of your life." Sitting in astonishment at what is obviously blatant patronization, I am reminded of how angry I was when I heard that. "Great!" I would think, "My life will never get better than this." No wonder the suicide rate is so high. No wonder kids try to find more and more ways to give themselves pleasure. During the time of Decadence people sought for more input. That era presumably passed. But here we are in a generation of children and teenagers who are being told that they have nothing to look forward to. They have to forget how crappy life is in some way. Why not choose drugs? Why not choose sex? Why not choose anything that gives extreme input?
We give children hopelessness and tell them to play. We give them sorrow and tell them to be happy. We give them pain and tell them not to cry. We give them anger and tell them to learn to love. Women are told that they can be anything they want, but when they try, they are told that it isn't their place. Girls are told to be positive about their bodies, and when they are, they are told that they are conceited. Boys are told to be sensitive but are made fun of when they cry. We tell them to be accepting of all lifestyles, but make fun of anyone who doesn't fit into our defintion of "normal."
What do we expect? Do we really believe that children will listen to us when we never listen to them? This philosophy of "Do as I say, not as I do?" has destroyed generations and we have still never learned our lesson. If we insist on girls being independent do not allow them to be put down when they are. If we insist on equality in lifestyle, do not destroy a boy who show homosexual feelings. Yes, I said homosexual. That happens in high school. It happens every day somewhere and it is the responsibility of the adults of the world to put aside predjudice and accept them as we say we do. When we tell a girl that she is pretty, don't be upset with her if she believes it. Don't expect her to demurely accept your compliment with a grain of salt.
Society as a whole has priorities in all the wrong places. Because I'm 5'6" 115lbs, blonde, blue eyed, and an ex-model, I'm accepted as a good and wholesome member of society. So, any girl in high school who can diet to make herself thin enough to be attractive, but not too thin, dye her hair blonde, get tinted contacts, braces (if necessary), and learn to smile and nod without really understanding anything (because blondes aren't supposed to be very smart you know) can hold a good position in todays world. I am offended by this. I am reminded of the archaic idea that a woman is only defined by the man she marries. In a way, we are married to the idea that we must be the beauty queens of society. Those who are not pretty enough to be among us, are allowed to be smart, but not too smart. If they are too smart, they are pushed aside as obviously unmarryable material. So, what do the high school girls do? Which way do they choose?
I know I'm not the only one who sees a problem with this. We have created a world where children are at once, forced to be independent and reprimanded for doing so. We expect our children to understand that we have their best intentions in mind, but never bother to find out what they want to do. Then we are angry because we see them as spoiled and lazy for demanding rights for themselves. Perhaps if we focused more on what is really good for them we would learn that they are not lazy or spoiled. They are confused. They are angry and tired of being told that they are at once precious and worthless. Who are we to blame them?
Life wanders by day by day, each day seeming longer than the last, but shorter at the same time. When there is something you want to do, it seems that you never get to do it. Over and over, you are denied small, and simple pleasures. The things you most want to do, you are not allowed to do. The things that make you most miserable are the things you are required to do.
Watching this in the lives of my students I'm pulled back to a time when I felt that way. I often wonder how many teachers really think about how it was when they were 16. I hear them say, "These are the best years of your life." Sitting in astonishment at what is obviously blatant patronization, I am reminded of how angry I was when I heard that. "Great!" I would think, "My life will never get better than this." No wonder the suicide rate is so high. No wonder kids try to find more and more ways to give themselves pleasure. During the time of Decadence people sought for more input. That era presumably passed. But here we are in a generation of children and teenagers who are being told that they have nothing to look forward to. They have to forget how crappy life is in some way. Why not choose drugs? Why not choose sex? Why not choose anything that gives extreme input?
We give children hopelessness and tell them to play. We give them sorrow and tell them to be happy. We give them pain and tell them not to cry. We give them anger and tell them to learn to love. Women are told that they can be anything they want, but when they try, they are told that it isn't their place. Girls are told to be positive about their bodies, and when they are, they are told that they are conceited. Boys are told to be sensitive but are made fun of when they cry. We tell them to be accepting of all lifestyles, but make fun of anyone who doesn't fit into our defintion of "normal."
What do we expect? Do we really believe that children will listen to us when we never listen to them? This philosophy of "Do as I say, not as I do?" has destroyed generations and we have still never learned our lesson. If we insist on girls being independent do not allow them to be put down when they are. If we insist on equality in lifestyle, do not destroy a boy who show homosexual feelings. Yes, I said homosexual. That happens in high school. It happens every day somewhere and it is the responsibility of the adults of the world to put aside predjudice and accept them as we say we do. When we tell a girl that she is pretty, don't be upset with her if she believes it. Don't expect her to demurely accept your compliment with a grain of salt.
Society as a whole has priorities in all the wrong places. Because I'm 5'6" 115lbs, blonde, blue eyed, and an ex-model, I'm accepted as a good and wholesome member of society. So, any girl in high school who can diet to make herself thin enough to be attractive, but not too thin, dye her hair blonde, get tinted contacts, braces (if necessary), and learn to smile and nod without really understanding anything (because blondes aren't supposed to be very smart you know) can hold a good position in todays world. I am offended by this. I am reminded of the archaic idea that a woman is only defined by the man she marries. In a way, we are married to the idea that we must be the beauty queens of society. Those who are not pretty enough to be among us, are allowed to be smart, but not too smart. If they are too smart, they are pushed aside as obviously unmarryable material. So, what do the high school girls do? Which way do they choose?
I know I'm not the only one who sees a problem with this. We have created a world where children are at once, forced to be independent and reprimanded for doing so. We expect our children to understand that we have their best intentions in mind, but never bother to find out what they want to do. Then we are angry because we see them as spoiled and lazy for demanding rights for themselves. Perhaps if we focused more on what is really good for them we would learn that they are not lazy or spoiled. They are confused. They are angry and tired of being told that they are at once precious and worthless. Who are we to blame them?
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home