I tried to go to my cousin's funeral today. I was late.
So, instead I ended up sitting in my car at the cemetery waiting for my family to finish saying goodbye and lead me to the house where we were going to be indulging in a feast in my cousin's honor.
In the meantime, I read some of the last book in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It felt a bit strange to be reading Tolkein when I was supposed to be paying my last respects.
I begin to wonder if death is becoming too commonplace. I should cry and be upset and mourn, but then I've cried and I've been upset. I've mourned, I've fallen apart, and I've done all that I should do when one loses someone close. I'm just not sure how many times I'm supposed to do it. Is it necessary to cry every time someone goes?
What happens if one day, I just sit back and say "I suppose that's the way of things?" Am I supposed to be forever in mourning?
My mother's siblings are mostly over 60, many of them are in bad physical health. I'm not going to be surprised if some of them die soon. But because I've prepared myself for this, I understand that it will hurt.... it hurt when my aunt died, but I also understand that life goes on, and people die. Because I understand that, will I be the one standing alone because I seem to not need to be comforted?
So, instead I ended up sitting in my car at the cemetery waiting for my family to finish saying goodbye and lead me to the house where we were going to be indulging in a feast in my cousin's honor.
In the meantime, I read some of the last book in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It felt a bit strange to be reading Tolkein when I was supposed to be paying my last respects.
I begin to wonder if death is becoming too commonplace. I should cry and be upset and mourn, but then I've cried and I've been upset. I've mourned, I've fallen apart, and I've done all that I should do when one loses someone close. I'm just not sure how many times I'm supposed to do it. Is it necessary to cry every time someone goes?
What happens if one day, I just sit back and say "I suppose that's the way of things?" Am I supposed to be forever in mourning?
My mother's siblings are mostly over 60, many of them are in bad physical health. I'm not going to be surprised if some of them die soon. But because I've prepared myself for this, I understand that it will hurt.... it hurt when my aunt died, but I also understand that life goes on, and people die. Because I understand that, will I be the one standing alone because I seem to not need to be comforted?
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