I've really gotten away from writing. This disappoints me. I have talked about it, thought about it, prayed about it, dreamed about it, wondered, pondered... but it's still just not really coming to be a part of me right now. It feels sometimes like my foundations have been ripped out again and I'm starting from the ground up trying to make a house fit on newly built foundations without letting it shake apart. Lifting it up with ropes and pulleys, a spiderweb of lines trying to lift gently on the already delicate seeming structure and realizing that not all is at it appears.

Writing is what I want to base my life in. When it's absent I feel like half of my life is gone, and it is, unquestionably absent.